Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
