so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
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this beer tastes like vomit already
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
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I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
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