I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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