I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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