Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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