is your mom at the bar?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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