Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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