He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
