yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The air taste purple.
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