We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
