Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
