Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she woke up with a sticky ear
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
