i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Less talking, more tequila
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
