I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
