If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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