I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
