I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
