This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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