she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
