Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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