maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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