You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize