Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize