She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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