i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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