the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
