Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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