bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
