i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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