Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
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i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
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You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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