Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
