Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
