So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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