What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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