I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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