Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
