Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
