I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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