so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize