Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
