carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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