...so i touched it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
