No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
