Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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