So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
