Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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