we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
