Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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