My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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