Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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