he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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