i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
