Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
