they need to just BURY HIM!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
