i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
