you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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