you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There's always time for handjobs
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
