I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
