I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
