What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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