whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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