I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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