Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
